The flight attendant hands me a small bowl of berries and cream.
There’s a Happy Birthday sticker on the side and a handwritten note:
Happy Birthday, Mr Mather.
That brings my total number of birthday wishes for the day to one.
My immediate family had forgotten.
That’s not what I expected for my 65th.
Or… maybe it is.
I’ve always thought of life as a series of concentric circles.
In my twenties and thirties, I was at the centre.
Then my kids moved into the middle and I stepped one circle out.
Now my grandson, Remy, sits right at the centre of everything.
With each shift away from the epicentre, there’s a natural loss of energy.
Not loss of love.
Loss of urgency.
It feels a bit like stepping out of a fast current into calmer water.
You notice the quiet.
A forgotten birthday suddenly makes sense.
It has very little to do with love.
And everything to do with priorities.
At cruising altitude, I found myself wondering what it must feel like for a Head of State to walk away from the big chair for the last time.
To move, unmistakably, to the outer circles.
I thought about that when I remembered reading Jimmy Carter’s Our Endangered Values.
He could never have written that book while he was President.
And he could never have written it without having been President.
Maybe usefulness doesn’t disappear.
Maybe it just changes volume.
Core Question
Who am I when I’m no longer at the centre — and can that still be enough?
—
Julian
Happy belated birthday, JM
Remember those 65 year old guys from your 25th birthday party? No... exactly :) This is the great circle, brother.
Wonderful story and I'm glad the airline caught it. Well done - Unreasonable Hospitality (great book, btw).
Reminded me of a string of experiences at a juggling festival in Santa Barbara, CA.
I first went in 1981 when I was a no one in that world. Just another teen in a park juggling 4 clubs.
1982 - 2016 I was a Raspyni Brother and for 30+ years, the few times I showed up at that festival, everyone kinda stopped for a peek, some pointing, and conversation.
Well, I want last year (9 years post-retirement from that job) and I once again walked through the park. Alone, watching, juggling, and none of that happened - again! No one brought me a bowl of fruit and cream :)
It was perfect... I loved - no, I LOVED every moment of it. I laughed and shared the story with a few of the others from my day who were there. Such a glorious circle.
Safe travels around this globe, sir, and Happy 65th Birthday!