Welcome to Modern Grandad.
I’m writing this while travelling across Eastern Europe, one thumb at a time, on planes, trains, and buses. It feels like the right way to start — imperfect, present, paying attention.
I don’t have this figured out.
But I am practising something new.
It’s been about 15 months since my grandson Remy was born.
In that time, without planning to, I’ve found myself doing things I didn’t expect to care so much about:
Cycling hundreds of kilometres with a small seat on the front of my bike
Saying yes to “random babysitting” because I want to be there
Spending full days minding him with my wife
Writing short diary notes his parents are too tired to record
Catching every bug childcare has to offer
Feeling a surprising amount of guilt while being away from him right now
I’m not writing about grandparenting.
I’m practising it — and writing down what I notice as I go.
This newsletter is part of that practice.
Something changed when I first held him.
I realised this, slowly and without drama:
His life is more important than mine.
Not in a tragic way.
In a clarifying one.
I’ve had my go.
My job now is to support his.
That realisation gave me a sense of purpose I wasn’t looking for — and didn’t expect to find.
I’m not less relevant.
I’m relevant differently.
I spend a lot of time cycling with Remy. We point at things. Dogs. Birds. Buses. People.
Recently I’ve noticed teenage boys flying through suburban streets on eBikes — often steering with one hand while texting with the other.
I’m pro-risk risk, but a teenager’s mind, an e-bike and a smartphone together is reckless. Not reckless kids, reckless adults.
So here’s a question I’m sitting with:
Where are the grown-ups?
Grown-ups protect kids.
Grown-ups are present when it matters.
If you’re a daughter reading this and you’d like your dad to be more involved with your kids, here’s a simple place to start:
Ask him to teach them one thing he’s quietly good at.
Not advice.
Not a lecture.
Just time together, doing something real.
That’s often all it takes to get the wheel turning.
I don’t know exactly where Modern Grandad goes from here.
But I do know this:
A modern world needs steady, learning, present older men.
I’m practising being one.
You’re welcome to walk with me.
—
Julian